Introduction to Serial Killers!

Welcome to introduction to “The most interesting serial killers”. Dude… Serial killers? Really? Sigh this shit gives me the heebie jeebies

Scripty: Google trends says people love this true crime, serial killer stuff]

Google trend says so huh? If I didn’t love the sound of my voice so much. This is long, screw it. I’m leroying this bitch

So… Serial killers be crazy, and people love the crazy. Some of the best shows on TV have dealt with this subject matter. Some of the worst actors had careers just cause they played a serial killer on tv. I’m looking at you Dexter  

So are you surrounded by people who are enamored by this subject? Are you trying to find common ground after you voted Trump and they voted Harris? Is your dog harassing you for a walk and you need to pretend to be busy? Well, then this video is for you!

So, there was a couple called the Moors Murderers. Not the moops, but Moors. These two bat shit crazy people terrorized Manchester, England, and scripty says “committed a series of meticulously planned and deeply disturbing murders from 1963 to 1965”.

Ohhh here’s a fun fact – Manchester United was amongst the bottom of the Premier League in 1963 but won the league in 1965 and finished second in 1964. Fun right?

Scripty: Get back on point fool

I digress, back to the Moors, I’m not sure how many they killed, cause Scripty didn’t put it in the script, but and I quote “most of their victims were aged 10 to 17 and people they knew personally, friends and acquaintances making their crimes that much more insidious as serial killers go for the weak and isolated in society.”

You know that reminds me of desperate housewives. They used to go around killing their friends and acquaintances. 

Scripty: How do you know about what happened on desperate housewives?

The wifey made me watch it because. By the way, those chicks be crazy. 

Much like the characters on Desperate Housewives and I’m quoting the script here “these two were in a twisted partnership rooted in manipulation and shared depravity. They documented their crimes with pictures and audio. 

Even behind bars, Brady continued to talk a lot of unapologetic smack, while Hindley tried to play the victim and claim to be manipulated by Brady” end quote.

Next, we have another renowned crazy and that’s Jane Toppan aka Jolly Jane. I bet that went down well. Anyway, the script says, this specific crazy did her stabby stabby from 1895 to 1901 in Massachusetts. She confessed to killing 31 people, but this “Angel of Mercy” is suspected of killing over a 100 people. And the best part of it, apparently it gave her a sexual thrill.

Sigh lower voice.. this is some sick shit, I’m going to have to make the wifey sleep in a different room now. She likes the stabby stabby a little too much. Stupid Google trends

Anyway this crazy nurse used to lay with her victims as they died, using her “ground breaking medical knowledge” from the 1890’s to manipulate the lives and deaths of the patients in her care. Crazy bat, aside from all the killing she also stole a house keepers job and poisoned herself for attention – oh hey.. didn’t that happen in desperate housewives? By the way, for those of you who think this chick is a DEI representation? You’re wrong.

She’s here because she killed 31 people while sleeping in the same bed as them. That has to be a record right of some sort? Most kills in bed?

The good news for me is, we’re finally at our last crazy. The Mesa Bone Collector and I quote: “a name as haunting as the story it represents” – seriously scripty you wrote this drivel? Do better man!

Scripty: Screw you

Scripty says and I quote: “The bone collector left the remains of 11 women buried in the outskirts of Alburquerque which happened to be discovered by a construction crew. Upon further investigation, they found that the Bone Collector had surgically cut out a bone from each of the victims as a “trophy”. It is incredibly rare for serial killers to collect trophies and dump the bodies all in one place” end quote.

I have a feeling their parents gave them one to many participation trophies. By the way, the script uses “they” because the “authorities” [Insert: Clip from cops tv show intro with song bad boys bad boys], never found the actual murderer. So nobody knows if it was a dude or dudette. 

Let’s see the script says: “Investigators did find connections between these killings and sex trafficking rings which raises chilling questions about whether the killer acted alone or was part of a broader, more sinister network”.

Woah.. that is chilling! A serial killer with ties to the organized crime… that’s like an illegal license to kill, the Anti James Bond! Also, pretty sure Desperate Housewives missed this one.

Back to the script: “Investigators did have a shortlist of individuals they suspected for these crimes. One of these individuals was Lorenzo Montoya whose death coincides with the ending of these crimes. However, no one was ever charged. The killers meticulous dumping ground and the enduring mystery surrounding the identity makes this one of the most haunting unsolved cases in modern history.” 

Indeed, this is most definitely a mystery unlike the mystery of when this script is going to end! 

Beause Finally we’re done and I really hope Google trends, Video Editor Guy and Scripty have really helped you with your descent into madness. Scripty Says and I quote: “After all The West Mesa Bone Collector, Ian Brady, Myra Hindley, and Jane Toppan are representations of humanity’s darkest impulses, our fascination with this darkness and a great introduction to interesting serial killers.” End quote.

I say, you could just watch Desperate Housewives – Cheers!

Scripty: Dude is intro to desperate housewives going to be next? I really hope not!